


The truth is dragged out.

by IceBreeze



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Gen, based on a dream so it's entirely crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-24 01:13:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6136285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceBreeze/pseuds/IceBreeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an interview lands Donald Trump and Neil Josten in the same room, no-one expected it to go well. But they weren’t quite prepared for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The truth is dragged out.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is based on a dream I had, which I loved alot (it was a glorious dream and i woke up in tears), and can be found on [rileybluuseys.](http://rileybluuseys.tumblr.com/post/140156100161/i-think-i-remember-having-a-dream-where-neil) additions to it convinced me to write it (so thank you, man). Please note that this is 1000% crack and should not be taken seriously in any way.

Nobody knows exactly how the Foxes and Donald Trump ended up in the same interview, but chances are nobody would change a thing. Neither party had known the other was going to be there (Kathy seems to be rather fond of that trick and wouldn’t learn from her mistakes) and the reaction upon arrival was close to a riot (Trump being snub- which wasn’t hard with a nose like his- whilst the foxes were pissed off). In the end, after much bargaining and gentle threats, the interview was underway.

It started of reasonably peaceful (or as peaceful as it can be when you have Andrew, Neil and Trump in the same room), with the same old questions being tossed out to two of the three guests (she soon learnt that questioning Andrew was like screaming at a brick wall that will make you feel small, stupid and near death). But then the foolish woman brought out a question that was a death wish (anyone with some form of survival instinct could tell it was a bad idea from how Neil’s face turned to stone and his eyes to ice).

“So, Mr.Trump, I hear you have made plans on banning Exy in America if you win the election. Would you care to tell us your reasons why?”

Trump- oh foolish Trump- had sniffed, before saying:

“Well, I believe this sport- if you can even call it that- is like a plague to this country.”

(Neils jaw had twitched and, off camera, you could vaguely hear the sound of Kevin struggling against someone).

“It’s pathetic- just a plagiarism of several other sports thrown together in some poorly planned wrestling match.”

(Andrew turned his gaze to focus on Neil, and though his expression didn’t change, there was a glimmer of something in his eye. Amusement, perhaps? Or maybe even anticipation?)

“And it brings in the most horrific gaggle of riff-raff. Take the Foxes, for example. Honestly, looking at their players you’d think their Coach- a bloody fool if you ask me- found them at the bottom of a rubbish bin.”

(Neil’s body tensed minutely and if you listened carefully, you could hear the sound of Wymack sighing a resigned:

”I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”)

“Yes, there’s even a fine show of why exy should be trashed and burned by anyone with half a brain right here- a crazy teenager with violence problems and a mafia throw away with daddy issues.”

(You could practically see the fury rolling off Neil in waves).

Kathy smiled brightly as Donald Trump finished with a condescending smirk and a mocking hand gesture towards the aforementioned pair, saying with her usual obnoxious cheer:

“Thank you, that was quite enlightening. Now, Neil. As a current exy star, would you like to give us your view on Trump’s plans?”

All attention turned to Neil, who sat completely still for a long moment, before his lips spread into a slow smile that was far too cold to be real (it was rather reminiscent of a predator about to go in to the kill), before he said:

“Well, it makes sense that Mr.Trump is rather knowledgeable about the subject. After all, who better to spout a festering pile of bullshit than a pathetic excuse for a human being who can’t tell the difference between one and a million.”

A tense pause followed, nobody in the studio quite sure they heard him right, but he didn't give them time to recover as he ploughed on:

“It's rather hypocritical of you, to talk about plagiarism and trash when you are a prime example of what is destroying this country. Not only do you have no more of a brain than I have in my elbows, what little you do have can't even function enough to decipher between issues and that dunghill you call a hairstyle.”

(There was a loud snort in the background. Kathy looked scandalized, whilst Neil’s smile widened to bare his teeth in something decidedly cat-like).

“And if anything should be burnt, it’s you, Mr. Trump- Oh, I’m sorry, would you prefer Sir Trump, knight of all things stupid? You forget, my good sir, that I am well acquainted with how to destroy a person. My so called ‘Daddy issues’ helped with that. And, of course, you’d be well acquainted with such a thing, wouldn’t you? After all, being a failed abortion must be so hard on you and the rest of the world, because we all have to suffer the stain that is your existence.”

With that, Neil sat back, smile still firmly in place and a look of grim satisfaction in his eyes. Kathy sat frozen (horror struck, as though she had expected the union to actually go well). Andrew had produced a knife at some point during Neil’s speech, which he was now twirling idly in his had with a dark grin. (Was that pride in his eyes?) All attention in the studio turned to Donald Trump, excited to see how he would react (would it turn into a back and forth battle of wits? Would he threaten them? Would security need to be called?). The chorus of a multitude of heartbeats all beating in discord (because none of them could ever unite perfectly) as his face scrunched up-

(”Oh my god.”)

-and he burst into tears. Off stage, Allison smirked smugly as she found herself 40 dollars richer (Renee took her winnings more graciously, but she’s Renee so it doesn’t count), whilst Wymack grumbled:

“God damn it Josten, can you not go five minutes without causing a national scandal?”

(Nobody believed him, not when he was smiling like a proud parent).

The foxes all piled on to the set to crowd around Neil (and Andrew, but they gave him enough space that he wouldn’t knife anyone). Nicky asked:

“Wait, doesn’t that mean that this time we’re going to be vandalized by Trump supporters? Doesn’t that mean terrorists or something? _Oh my god, are we going to die?_ ”

Kevin patted Neil on the shoulder in a rare show of pride (because he showed people not to mess with exy and that’s all that matters at this point). Matt sighed, ruffling Neil’s hair with a resigned question of:

“Who are you going to pick a fight with next, buddy? The queen?”

(Neil’s responding grin didn’t leave much confidence and if Matt vowed to keep him away from royalty, no-one would fault him).

It all seemed fine and dandy, except Trump hadn’t stopped crying. And -to many peoples disgust- his skin appeared to be peeling off as the stream of tears grew more vicious, revealing something green and shiny beneath it. They watched as it peeled and flaked away to reveal more and more green, until eventually, all of Trumps face had been wiped clean.

But apparently, Trump wasn’t Trump, because in his place, wearing the same hideous suit and ugly hairstyle (which seemed to be a wig), was Pepe the Frog. There was a dumbstruck silence as people took in the sobbing creature, which was only broken when Trump (or was it Pepe, now?) began to shriek and fuss, throwing the tantrum of the millennium. Security came and dragged him away kicking like a petulant child, all the while threatening to sue, until he was out of sight and his voice was only a buzzing in the distance.

Nobody seemed to know what to do for a short while, hovering awkwardly on what was still live television, when Dan clapped her hands together and declared:

“Well, I say we celebrate this with pizza and a movie before this all turns into a worse shitstorm than it currently is.”

They all agreed and walked away, Dan in the lead whilst Andrew and Neil walked a little bit behind everyone else in an attempt to give some privacy to their words. Neil grinned, asking:

“Are you proud?”

“156%.”

“Aw, love you too.”

“157%. Don't push it.”

(If the camera’s happened to catch this exchange and a shot of their hands intertwined, nobody commented. After all, it’s not the strangest thing to happen that say).

Later that day the interview became the most popular topic worldwide. Kathy’s show has never been so popular and various other programs were tripping over themselves in desperate attempts to get Neil Josten to join them alongside a special guest.  
  
(Alas, the media will never learn from their mistakes. At least, not when it comes to the foxes).

**Author's Note:**

> Can be found on [tumblr.](http://polyhymina.tumblr.com/writings)


End file.
